WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #3

WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #3

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Welcome Kelsey grant. I'm so excited to have you here today. I'm so excited to be here. I think we're just gonna have a lot of fun. We are gonna have so much fun today and it's so great to see you again. It's it's been forever. How are you? You know, life's been lifeing but in like a really special way, like I just turned 40 a week ago and it was not the experience that I was anticipating, like ever since 39. I'm like, okay, my 40th birthday is just gonna be the best and gonna be in Europe. And I'm doing all these magical spiritual things with my sisters. And then I literally dislocated my knee two weeks before my birthday.

And. None of those things happened and I've been grounded and like having to move slower than I've ever had to move in my entire life. And there's been so much medicine and sweetness inside of that. So even though like we're navigating the world of like expectations being blown to smithereens, there's also a lot of magic and medicine.

Quite frankly, like really wonderful things that are coming through during this time. So I'd say all pretty great. Well, I mean, I love how you've reframed that. Right. And it really is all about perspective. Like suffering only happens when we allow it. Right. And so yeah, if you can find the medicine in, in the pain, then it becomes a teacher.

Absolutely. And I mean, I think. Probably the direction that we're gonna go in our conversation today, anyway, which again, like how can you not see the perfection in all of that? , you know, yeah. Lived experience like that's where the best teachings come from is when they have been embodied. Absolutely. I completely agree.

Well, I'd love to just kind of start things off by having you cha talk a little bit about your origin story and how you fell into your line of work as a relational educator. Oh, gosh, I mean, roll back the tape to like the beginning of my life. So on July 27th, 1982, I was born I'm just kidding. but also not like there, the work that I do now is a byproduct of the life that I have lived and the challenges that I have experienced, but also the wonderful things that I have experienced.

And in 2009, I just had. Nudge from my inner, knowing my intuition to pack up my life and move cities. And I had just recently left a relationship and I was in a band and I was doing music. And then I did this complete 180. I'm like, I'm moving. I got a move to the coast. Like, I don't know why. There's no good reason.

I don't have a job. I don't have a community, but there's something deeper in me that is guiding. Me there. And for whatever reason I listened Vancouver became the birthplace of this incredible chapter of my thirties that, you know, I got to build this community that they're all just such soul family.

I finally felt like I belonged somewhere and I belonged in community with people. And in that community, I was able to really. Touch, you know, the truth of my desire, which was, I don't wanna work for somebody else. I'm a terrible employee in that regard. I really had strong opinions about like how things should be done.

It's like my Leo side coming out of like, I'm the leader and. I just, I really didn't want to work in a nine to five. Like that was not my path and there isn't anything wrong with that path. It just wasn't true for me. And so I came to Vancouver and I began a coaching practice. And the first practice I opened was with, uh, another woman.

And so we partnered on this and we opened this practice together. And about four months after we'd opened it, it made more sense for me to go out on my own. She was following a very different path and it just wasn't true anymore for us to continue. So I had to reorient and started my own coaching practice and it was, it started more just in the realm of general coaching.

There was a lot of business coaching that was happening. There was a lot of just general inquiries of like, how do I get my life on purpose? And in those sessions, there was this recurring theme of relationships that everything that anyone was struggling with, whether I was coaching a CEO or I was coaching, you know, someone who just found me off of Facebook, the challenges were all relational.

And that's when I really made it my focal point to really get into the nuts and bolts of relating. And what does it mean to have healthy relationships with yourself? Healthy relationships with other people? And the practice has just grown. The business has shifted and grown. It's like its own entity, like.

I like to think that I'm guiding the ship, but there's something deeper and truer that's actually guiding the emergence and the evolution of the business. So my whole philosophy is I will only do something as long as it's true. And when it stops being true, I pivot. so it keeps this energy of vitality in the business because I'm not just doing something because this is how you're supposed to do things.

I just don't do it that way. So I'm constantly going down and into my body and exploring like, what is the truest thing to come next? Yeah. That's, that's beautiful. yeah, I am very much the same way. I don't like rules. I don't no, it the worst, you know? absolutely. And it, it feels like, you know, this is really something that is your life's purpose, right. It's like you've been guided to be, be doing this work hundred percent.

Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Just beautiful and scary. Yeah. People think like, oh, that's so romantic. I'm like the dark nights of the soul I've had to endure. And like these cycles of death and rebirth, like those aren't the sexy parts. Like you just see, you know, the external, sexy part of it, of like, oh, just like creating a business by your design.

I'm like, and I'm dying a thousand deaths over here. Like you, like, we can't have one without the other. Absolutely. And there's so much, there's, there's such a practice of trust. Mm-hmm in that process as well, right? Like, you know, with wild remedies, I feel like it was very much like a, a divine mission that I was given and it was like, okay, we've given you all of these clues, you know, it essentially I've been told, this is the thing that you need to do.

And there's times where things feel like they are failing and you're going. But you told me to do this. Like, I don't understand, like, yeah. What, like, what would the universe really tell me to do this? If it was just gonna fail and da, da, da, da, then, and you have all these stories and stuff that you make up in your head mm-hmm and then it's like practice in just letting go and just trusting.

And it is terrifying, terrifying, like, talk about like learning how to like build capacity in your nervous system. Become an entrepreneur oh yeah, yeah. Hundred percent. Not for the main part, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Like it's like, I, I, I love that aspect too. Right. Like I love climbing the mountain.

I love doing hard things and it's not for everybody, but I, I mean, I couldn't do it any other way. Same, same, same. Yeah. . So you mentioned when you were kind of first starting to work with people and you were noticing all of these, like relational issues come up, like, what were some of the biggest complaints and things that you were, you, you were seeing from, from people and like in your, I guess your, your perspective, do you feel like a lot of these things negatively affect the wellbeing of, of people.

Well, I mean, one of the biggest, I guess persistent complaints is not being known, not being in relationship. So there's this element. And then like, it's so multifaceted because if you're not being known, there's an element of like, how much of yourself are you actually allowing to come through and like the truth of who you are, and then there's elements around how you're communicating.

The truth of what's inside of you, because we have to deliver our communication in a way that, you know, has the other person, at least be open and receptive to what we're having to say. If we're constantly leaning into someone and railing on them and telling them all the terrible things that they're doing, the likelihood of them being receptive to being attuned to you and like turning towards you is very, very.

And so there's a lot of that and just like the practical side of it. So there's, you know, the practical delivery of communication, then there's like the emotional side of like how in touch are they with their actual emotions? And like, that's a big issue. Mm-hmm you will not have relational vitality. If you are not emotionally integr.

if you have a distorted relationship with your emotions, like you don't let yourself feel things that is going to show up in your relationships. And that's one of the biggest things of like, ah, keep attracting emotionally unavailable people. And like, we never really hold up the mirror to be like, well, how emotionally available are you to.

are you available to your own emotions or are your relationships a dumping ground for all the things that you can't hold? And so those are like the main things that we're showing up and continue to show up. in this practice, like, you know, I'd say that that does impact people's wellbeing.

Like the health of your relationships absolutely impacts the rest of your life. Everything that you do. And when I was working with CEOs in companies, and they're talking about the bottom line of their business, and they're talking about money, but they don't wanna deal with the relational issues either happen.

In their business or the relational issues happening at home that are affecting how they interact with their business. we can't really go very far until you're willing to address these pieces because mm-hmm and this is what drives me. So bonkers, because it is relationships is the one area where people are like, it should just work.

we shouldn't have to work on it. Like we shouldn't have to learn about this. if you understood. How the health of all of your relationships romantic and non-romantic influence your experience of fulfillment on this planet. You would never ever, ever say that again, but we're humans and we need to crash and burn and, you know, we figure it out.

Oh, my gosh. It's so wild. I mean, this, this is why I'm so excited to have you here today because like we talk about everything, health and wellness on the wild remedies podcast and relational health is just it's so, so, so important. it's just, it's. It's really unfortunate that we're not given tools, at a younger age, right?

Like there's a lot more information out there now. Right. And I feel like maybe the, the children of our generation might, you know, have. A better head start. but I mean our generation, our parents, our grandparents, like it was like shove down your emotions, sweep things under the rug don't, cause any, any problems Don't show boundaries because love will leave like all of these different things. Right. And it really isn't until you sort of have like your. Crash and burn relationship where, I mean, hopefully you learn some lessons and, you know, do a little introspective work. And I mean, I think it takes some time too.

I remember, you know, being younger and like my teens and twenties and stuff. And. Relationship didn't work well out or whatever. And I was just like, oh, well he's just a fucking idiot. Right? Like, it was never about me. Like, I was never doing anything wrong. I didn't, I have no toxic traits at all. What you talking about?

I'm totally perfect. And like, how does he not just like, absolutely adore me. Yeah. Like those are the things that it, sometimes it takes a while to understand that you need to learn what your. Are in relationship as well, and they are work and it really is, you know, a balance that needs to, to, to be learned.

and I think with a healthy relationship, it just allows so much more wellness and peace in, in your life. Right. it's important to have all of those pieces, As a whole, in order to live the best life, wonderful that you wanna have. Right. And it doesn't mean that you need to be in relationship, partnership, but even just how you relate to your friends and your family and all of those things.

Right. It's, it's incredibly important. Absolutely. Yeah. Like literally everything is a relat. Your relationship to your body, your relationship to food, your relationship, to money, your relationship to the environment around you, your relationship, and your family, to your siblings, your parents, or caregivers, your friends, your colleagues, like everything is a relationship.

And there isn't just romantic relationships. And that's why I. Really always just specify that my work is for romantic relationships. My work is for relational mastery. So if you are working in the realms of relational mastery, this is impacting and influencing all of your relational dynamics and the medicine will go where it's most needed.

So if it's most needed in the realm of romance and romantic relationships, that's where the medicine will, will take you. If it's more in the realm of your relationship to yourself, that's where it will take you. And it's just like opening up this whole world of, well, what is my relationship to relationships to relating?

Like how do I relate to myself to the world around me, in my relational dynamics? What am I trying to get from? And when we start to unwind that of like a lot of relationships come from this more extractive place where we're trying to get something from the other person that we're not in full approval of.

Like we're not in full approval of the thing that we're trying to extract, which is why we're extracting it versus we're revealing it, bringing it forward and making bold. Making vulnerable requests, connecting requests. And that's the path of relational mastery is learning how to do that and learning how to open your system so that love can land so that connection can land in your body.

Cause for a lot of people, they have these patterns, they have these coping strategies that they have developed in order to get through hard. That they don't actually serve the relational dream in someone's heart. So we have to unwind all of that material and, open, open, open, open to the truer thing.

The true thing that is actually gonna let you step into the creation of the relational dream in your heart. I love that. So there's a lot of self exploration that is really needed a hundred percent initially you can't do relational work and not be introspective. yeah. It's impossible. Like you have to be, like you said earlier, you have to be able to look at your part.

You have to be able to see, like, if there is a recurring pattern in your relationship, in your relationship dynamics, I should say the common denominator is you. And we like to point our finger, you know, like probably both of us, didn't our adolescent of like, it's him, he's the worst. Like I'm a prize. , it's all them not realizing like, wait, I'm the one choosing that.

And what's going on in me that I find that appealing. And there's something in me that wants to keep hashing this out with. What am I trying to get here? What am I after? And if we're not willing to look at ourselves and we're not willing to do that deeper shadow work, we're not gonna get very far in our relational dynamics.

Like we're just gonna keep repeating the same stuff over and over until we get to what I call the fuck. This shit point. cause it's that moment. And I've been there. Yeah, exactly. Right. When you're like, fuck this shit, like I'm done with this pattern, I'm done repeating this stuff and that's when we start to open that's when we start to take an honest look at what is going on in our relational basement, because we have all of this stuff in our shadow that we don't wanna look at.

So. Trying to like, build on top of it and like push it away. And then it just comes up with a vengeance. The next time you get into a romantic relationship. And you're like, what the fuck? I thought I was like, over that, I thought I was through that. It's like, no, we just pushed it further away so that it wasn't in our like general vicinity, but it doesn't mean it's gone.

And, and I mean, the, these same patterns keep reoccurring. Right. But in our minds, it's just like, well, you know, it, it like for a lot of people, they still don't understand that it still has to do with you. Right. my. Holy fuck moment. I'm so sick of this shit.

And I'm so done was with the last relationship that I was in. I was in Vancouver at the time when, that's that split happened and it was very traumatic. I think I told you about that a while back. And, that for me was like, okay. things need to change. And in that moment, like there was a lot of victimhood and all of these things like why me?

And then when you start to do some of the shadow work and I'd love to talk, more about that and, you know, explain to people what, what shadow work is, for me, I really realized, like I had, I was given so many red flags, so many. And I was just like, Nope. Gonna choose to ignore that one and gonna choose to ignore that one because I feel like I'm never gonna get love, and this is as good as it's gonna get.

So I'm just gonna, you know, have my boundaries crossed over and over and over again and, create all of this resentment within my body. mm-hmm everything is okay when it's not right. And then of course everything blows up because the universe is like, listen, bitch, we gave you. All of the reasons to leave and you didn't.

So now this terrible thing is going happen to you and it's gonna take you a year and a half to heal from it. Mm-hmm so that's what you get mm-hmm and I was like, OK, got the message. This can never happen again. So I need to do the work. Yes, yes. Yeah. And we all have moments like that in our stories. And those are such pivotal chapters that open for us of like shit.

I have to start to take some responsibility here and responsibility in this context doesn't mean that you're responsible for shitty things that have happened to you. It means that we claim back our power so that we can learn how to respond to life, even in the face of shitty things happening. Because like, especially this gets really twisted, especially with victim consciousness.

Like, well, what if I actually was victimized? And then I have to be responsible for their behavior. No, that's not what this is about. You are responsible for yourself. You are responsible for how you respond. Responsibility is just your response ability, your ability to respond. and if we are really enmeshed in our identity, in our coping mechanisms, in all the masks that we wear, we're not actually able to respond to life.

We are reacting against it. So when we're reacting against life, then we're gonna find ourselves repeating a lot of these problematic relational dynamics. Cause we're not actually. Responsibility, your ability to respond requires your openness and you won't open if you're not willing to touch the parts of yourself that are in the shadow.

So the shadow is just anything that you've rejected. Anything that you disowned that you think is bad and ugly about yourself. So it gets shoved off into this part of your subconscious, where you're like, hopefully that will never show up. And then because it's repressed and we're pushing against it. It actually gains quite a bit of momentum energetically, and we end up acting through our shadow whenever we're triggered.

And so this is one of the really tricky parts of doing shadow work is, you know, it's bringing consciousness to those moments when you are most likely to go unconscious and you're most likely to slip into. A triggered state, a reactive state. And you look at like, who do I become when things don't go my way.

That's one access into shadow. Another access is just, what are the things that I disowned or reject about myself? Another way you can access what's in your shadow is what are the things that I judge and reject other people. Mm. So all of those are areas. And like when we do relational mastery work, we navigate all of those different access points, because it's impossible for me to say which access point is going to work.

For you, versus somebody else, we all have our different ways in there for some people it's much easier to look at the things that they judge in other people and be like, oh yeah, those are parts of myself that I'm not in acceptance and approval of, which is why I judge them and I make them wrong. You know, other people are able to identify like, oh, these are the parts that I know.

I totally reject about myself. And they're able to access in that. Other people it's so much easier to be like, oh yeah, this is the person that I become when things don't go my way. And so we get to look at it from all of these different angles. And the whole point of shadow work is to love whatever you find back into wholeness.

And that's where the emotional alchemy element of this work comes in. Because if we're not in right relationship with our emotions, There's no way we can love that piece back into wholeness, because a lot of the time there's grief work that has to happen when we are in the process of loving back these parts that we've disowned.

There's a lot of grief in the fact that we have exiled them. And so we have to be willing to feel that grief. All the way through, in order to have that piece kind of click back into place. you know, it's a process. I don't think that this work is ever really done as long as we're alive, you know, but you'll get through the majority of like the big players in your shadow, the big things that fuck you up.

There's, you know, an opportunity to really get in right relationship with those parts mm-hmm and, you know, begin to understand them, what are they protecting? Because those parts are always protecting something. And when you understand what they're protecting, it's impossible to not love those parts because you find something really vulnerable and tender under.

Yeah. And then you get to be the parent. You never got, you got to be the caregiver you never got and love that piece in the way that wasn't available when the original wound happened, which is why things get exiled into the shadow. I hope that was a concise enough exploration of that for you. That was beautiful.

And I think that's, you know, a really great segue into, the, the topic of grief. Yeah. and you know, I've, I've heard this before, but like I've very much experienced this for myself. the, you know, the, the last heartbreak that, that I went through. I, I think any sort of heartbreak or betrayal, you know, even if it was a mutual breakup, something like that, there, there can still be feelings of abandonment and things, that, that can come up for me.

And I you're the expert, but I think this happens a lot to other people, but for me, when this trauma or like this breakup happened, I, there was just like a tsunami of like all the other stuff that like all the other traumas and things that I hadn't even thought about or that I had buried deep, deep, deep down had just all come up in surfaced.

And it was just, I was just left sitting in like the CS pool. so much mm-hmm pain and it. So fucking long to process. And I just remember being like, I should be over this already. I should be over this already. Like, why it's been like six months, it's been a year. Like, why am I still crying every day? Like all of these things.

Right. But it's like, it's not just that one relationship. Like there's all of these other things that have come up hundred percent. And so it, it is such. Such a process. Mm-hmm , mm-hmm it really is. And is it something like, is this common like absolutely. I feel like it's common. Yeah. OK. It's very, very common.

And what will happen? And this is why I love romantic relationships, because there's something about romantic relationships that gets into those nooks and crannies in a way that no other relationship. You can go deep with your friends. You can go deep with family members, but there's something that happens when there's this sexual energy exchange that deepens the level of intimacy that we can access within ourselves and with another person.

And so one of the most magical parts of being in a relationship of that, you know, variety is we get to heal. The things that are still unhealed. And sometimes that will happen while we're in relationship, but it often happens when the relationship ends and when heartbreak happens, heartbreak opens you.

And this is how we know, like we live in a world where most people are really walled off and closed because the sensation of heartbreak is almost too much for most people's nervous. So the sensation of openness is painful. Cause that's what happens. Heartbreak will crack you open and it's because we haven't built up the capacity for true openness, cuz we are relating through all of these different strategies and coping mechanisms and identities and masks.

Like we got all this armor on and so heartbreak will blast that open. And whatever is unprocessed in your psyche, in your body that is ready to come up for review, ready to come up for healing will come up through the alchemy of that heartbreak. So it won't bring up everything. That would like no one would survive that if everything that we had not dealt with came up during a heartache, but it will bring up stuff.

It will bring up, you know, relationships, maybe that you didn't grieve properly. I had that experience. I was dating someone in 2012. Was it 2012? I don't know. I don't even know where I'm in space in time, but I think it was 2012 and we were together for six months and then he came over, broke up with me out of the blue, and I have never felt so broken from a relationship in my life.

I mean, I definitely felt more of that later on, but at that point in my life, I'd never been broken, open that. And what I was realizing one day in meditation as like tears were streaming down my face and I'm like, why is this happening? This doesn't make any sense. and like, why am I feeling this degree of pain when we were only together for six months?

So logically, this doesn't make sense. The degree of pain I'm feeling for the duration of the relationship, but also the. We had, you know, a connection, a deep connection, but like not to the point where I'm wailing every day, all day long. Right. That was my, my experience too. Yeah. I was like, why, why is this happening?

Is like, we like, just over a year, you know, like this shouldn't be that big of a deal. Like why is my life over hundred percent? And when I was sitting in meditation with this, what came through? Was that a previous relat. That I had left when I left Calgary and moved to Vancouver, I had never processed that.

Like when that relation that four year relationship ended, like my strategy is to just like find a new person and like move on and like have the happiest life ever and like out happy him. That was my strategy. And so I never actually let myself go to the bottom of that heartbreak. I never really grieved it.

So when this breakup in 2012 happened, I had this insight that I'm actually grieving the four year relationship that I didn't grieve. And that's why it feels so painful. So unbearable and really not to the scale of a six month relat. Because I was actually grieving the six month relationship plus the four year relationship that I hadn't grieved.

And when that came through, I'm like, oh, this makes it a little bit more easy to be with. And I can navigate this a little bit better and have more compassion for myself and understand that the reason I didn't grieve it at the time was because I didn't have capacity to do so. And I didn't have the skills to do.

so any time that we're processing something in the present that is related to something in the past, there's a good reason why your system didn't allow you to feel that at the time, if you weren't supported, if it wasn't safe to, if you didn't have the skills or the community, whatever it is, there's a good reason why we will go into like an adaptive strategy.

To get through something really difficult. This happens a lot with abuse. This is why people will fall out abuse like decades after it happened, because they have to build up this resiliency, this capacity in their nervous system, to be able to start to unwind what happened. And that takes time. We don't know how long that's gonna take, you know, for every person it's different.

For me, like that breakup happened in 2008 and I was processing it in 2012. Yeah. So like, it took me that long to be able to get to the point where I was resourced enough, where I had this community around me and I felt stable enough in myself that I could open into that process and allow it to move through.

And so we don't ever wanna make anyone wrong. The timeline of their grief and like how long it actually takes, because for all we know you could be processing something that happened to you when you were six years old, that is really, you know, stuck in the unconscious, stuck in your body. And, you know, we need to be really tender with that six year old and we need to, you know, give her space that, you know, she hasn't been allowed.

to grieve for however many years, between six and however old you are at the time. Like it's a lot of time for most people. And so mm-hmm , but our culture, our society has very little bandwidth and permission and approval for. mm-hmm . And so you live in a world where it's fast, fast, fast, move to the next thing.

Hustle, hustle, hustle, create, create. We are in we're really outta balance between that masculine yang energetic and the yin energetic of rest restoration, inward emotions. So of course, like we have that layer on there. you know, not only it could be something from your past that you're processing, but also we have this, you know, collective shame around needing any time and space to heal, especially in north America.

Like if you look at like birth, for example, there is this unconscious expectation, especially in America that once you birth, you're back to the grind. like, there is a lot of permission for that whole process of, we literally just brought life through the portal of a body and now you want that person to go back to work like, so it's, it's such a.

Disservice in a disregard for the feminine, energetic, which is that more receptive that inward, that restoration the rest, the emotional world, the mystery, the mess, like, and all of these things that are related to grief are related to this feminine, energetic, and cause we're not collectively in approval of that.

Well, Gonna be challenging to navigate that when it happens, because you have a world that's telling you, that's not okay, mm-hmm you have a world that's saying, chop, chop, get through that. Like, what's wrong with you? Why are you still crying? It's been five days. And you're like, what the fuck? You know? And this happens with like death as well.

Someone dies. Yeah. And they're like, oh, you're coming back to work tomorrow. Like mm-hmm, , there's just no reverence at all. Or very little, I should say for the full expression of the human experience, the full expression is this emotional side and the practical go getter, like get shit done, side. All of it belongs.

So, I mean, that's one of the many reasons why will take so long to grieve something. cuz usually we're not in approval of the fact that we have to grieve in the first. And so we're resisting the experience that's happening instead of opening to it and allowing it to really wash us clean. Interesting.

Yeah, I know. Cause I mean, I, I had that exact self talk through the process initially. Right. It was like, Hurry up. You don't have time for this. I remember, I had a mentor briefly during the beginning of this period and he was like, well, Krista, you know, what if I told you that you need to take a year off of work?

And I was like, like, are you high? Like, do you know for like, what am I not supposed to make money? And just like abandon all my businesses. And he is like, okay, well, I'm just telling you what actually needs to happen. And I was like, well, you're crazy. Clearly I can't work with you. But I get it right.

And , I did go through like a very long period of alone time and introspection. I actually ended up moving down to salt lake city during, during that period. And, and I think I went thinking that, you know, it would be good for my business and that there would be adventure in all of these things, but it really was not that like, it was weeks at a time spent alone, rarely seeing another human being.

just all the breakdowns reading. A lot of, like, I remember reading a lot of like Steven Jenkinson or like listening to his books and stuff. I don't know if you've heard of his stuff, but like, Oh, my gosh, he's just, he's a poet. And like, he talks about death. Like I was learning a lot about like, you know, elderhood and all of these, like really deep, like, it was just like such an excavation during that period.

And it was really, really painful. Mm-hmm um, but one of the biggest practices that I tried to focus on was being uncomfortable with, or being comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I try my best, but it's still hard, right? Yeah. And it's like, okay, it's been so many months. Like I am tired of crying all the time.

Like how are there even tears left? Great. Right. Yeah. Oh, it's exhausting. It is. But I mean, it does, it does create such a richness and a depth in an individual who has gone through that process, I think, right. Like hundred percent. Like, if you're willing to reach those depths in yourself, like, and you're really willing to feel the grief all the way through there is this mentality and the vibrance that's on the other side.

Mm-hmm so you get to see life. It's like, you know, life is kind of like black and white. before a grief portal. And once you really go through the grief portal, you're like life and technical. Now, everything is great. Beautiful. And like, you can smell things you've never smelled before. Like there's a richness to the things that you're tasting, like there's complexity that you're able to be.

When you've gone through a grief portal because it expands your capacity. And when our capacity is small, our brain is trying to process all of this information. And so it's going to dilute and kind of dim down certain experiences of being alive versus when we really feel it all the way through, we are just more available to life.

grief will make you more available to life. You let yourself go all the way to the bottom all the way through. And most people just won't, they won't let themselves go there. they'll like cry for a day and they're like, that's enough I should be over it. And then they wonder why life is just like me.

Like nothing really excites them. Like, nothing is really rich. There's a dullness to life when you won't let yourself go through grief. And yeah. You know, part of that is also embodiment work because a lot of this wounding, this trauma, these things that we hold onto, they're stored in the body. and so if we're not doing embodiment work, then we're like, oh fuck.

I have to like cry every day for the rest of my life. Like no fucking way. Right. And so if we can also pair like the emotional release with some embodiment work and like use nonlinear pathways to open up the body, the body can release that material without always having to have this huge emotional release again.

That's in all of my containers. The one area that there is the most resistance is the area of the embodiment work. people wanna journal shit out. They wanna like, practice scripts. And I'm like, none of that's gonna work if you haven't gotten into the body. And if you are not being able to like, Your body, um, move with the sensations of your body.

really build a relationship with sensation in your body. Cuz if you want life to feel really fucking good, you have to be able to be with sensation. You have to be able feel the full threads of what goodness feels like in your system. But if your system's muted, you won't be able to do. the best thing could happen to you and you'll feel like, eh, that's okay.

it's. Yeah. Like I don't feel anything. Well it's because your system is like plugged. And so we have to move the body to get into those crevices sometimes. And like sometimes it shadow works. Sometimes it's embodiment work. Sometimes it's emotional release. Sometimes it's a journal prompt. Very rarely do journal prompts, transform your life in terms of being able to integrate what you're realiz.

They're great for realizations and like tracking patterns, but they don't really do a lot in terms of integrating that awareness into changed behavior. The integration happens through your embodiment. So anytime you have an emotional release, that's embodiment, anytime you're moving your body in a nonlinear way, that is Embodi.

And so we're gonna be able to feel more in our system and be able to understand what we're feeling, which then when we know those two things we can open and reveal that to somebody else which creates intimacy in a relationship. And so without grief, without embodiment work, You know, the desire, the deep desire to be mutually met or to be understood in a relationship falls flat.

And so we'll keep trading out the people and be like, it must be that person. they were like, they were the issue of like, why I didn't feel intimately connected when in fact the majority of the time is because we don't have an intimate connection with our own system, with our own emotions, with our own.

And that's why we're not feeling intimacy and connection and richness and life and technical in our relationships. Wow. That's like so full circle and so holistic and I mean, and I feel like that work would also be so beneficial in, you know, removing stuck energy in things that can manifest into physical illness as well.

Right. I mean, like, What does resentment end up creating? Right? Mm-hmm like, there's all of these emotions that get stuck and they can create like actual physical issues with, within ourselves. So there's just so much benefit to everything that you were just explaining. Oh my gosh. I'm obsessed. Yeah. If you couldn't tell I'm obsessed.

Yeah, well, it's just, it's so potent, right? Like, well, let, let's talk about this a little bit more, like tell, tell everybody about like your programs, how you help people. We have like the legendary love academy. I'm super. If like, what is this mystery school? Like? What is this? That is like, so legendary love academy was born in 2017 and it's one of those things where.

I was able to really be in that for a while. And then there was a pivot that happened and the pivot that happened was the deepening of my work into the realms of emotional alchemy, into embodiment, like really deepening that work, which takes you into the realm of the mystery, takes you into the realm of the feminine and balancing the energetics of the masculine and the feminine, the yin and the yang.

And so. The S mystery school is where I do all my live teaching now. So, okay. This is a school that is in service to union it's in service to love of the highest order. And that is where you will find me live teaching now, but I still do have the legendary love academy and all of the self study courses that I created, because I'm very proud of them.

and they're great for a practical. And for people who are not quite ready to cross the threshold into the mystery, into the, you know, embodiment into the feminine, into feeling, those courses are a great place to start. if you want self study, that's over at the legendary love academy. And then all of the live teaching happens in CRA mystery school.

And, you know, a couple of the offerings that I have currently. is a practice in a methodology called embodied alchemy. So this is the embodiment work. That is the foundation in every single live relational program. I teach any one-to-one mentorship, any couples, mentorship, all of it is rooted in this practice.

Without this practice, we won't get very far. So I teach it as an eight week series. And I pick a different theme for every series. The next one that's coming up is people pleasing. So I do transmission teachings on people pleasing, and then we do a guided, uh, embodiment journey to help anchor in. What I've just taught and move it through the body and release whatever is in the way of this teaching, like really getting into the cells of the system.

So that is a great intro place to come. I also do drop in class like once a quarter and that's the introduction to my work. And so I will also do a teaching transmission. I will do a guided embodied alchemy journey, and those are about two to three hour. And then initiated is the foundational path. So initiated is the foundations for relational mastery.

It's a minimum 13 month, um, membership and you go at your own pace. So this program includes live group mentorship. It includes specific embodied alchemy classes, um, celebration circles. Those are all the live touch points. Plus any of the embodied alchemy series that I'm teaching you get access to those in initiated.

And the curriculum itself though is self guided. So I don't tell someone how fast they need to go through a module. The whole premise of that program is in service to permission. It's in service to approval in service, to love and union. And in order to really anchor those frequencies through, we have to go at a pace that's true, and everybody has a different.

especially when it comes to the foundations for relational mastery, certain foundational pieces are gonna take longer to unwind in certain systems. Than other systems. And so you have full permission to go at a pace that's true for you and it's minimum 13 months, but most people stay longer than 13 months because they're going at their true pace.

And. So those are the main things that are currently available. There are a couple new offerings that are coming in the fall and then one in the winter. but we'll just wait to reveal those in time. And, um, those are the current ones that people can get in on. If they're really ready to dive into relational mastery, getting in right relationship with their emotions and starting to do the embodiment.

Mm, I love that. And then where, where are the best places for people to connect with you? Instagram is always the best place. I'm pretty active on there and all my offerings go through Instagram. And I also have a podcast called quantum love podcast, and I also do longer form teaching on there. and, um, and people can also join my email list.

I do a free transmission talk once a month for my email list instead of writing emails. I like to actually connect with the people in my community. I wanna know that they're real people, not just like some bot on the internet. And so we have these moments once a month, where I get to see them, they get to see me there's connection.

And I do a transmission talk on any topic that's related to relational mastery. Mm, it's amazing. Lots of places. That's yeah. That's wonderful. Well, to anybody who's listening, you know, if you are ready to do some real deep healing work, Kelsey is your woman. You're just, you're such an amazing teacher.

And I feel like you've been doing this work for so long now. You just completely embody it. And it's just been so beautiful to, to watch your journey, uh, along the way. Aw. Yeah. Thank you so much. Such a honor to be on this path and to be able to do this work and see people thrive and like break through, you know, relational patterns that have kept them stuck sometimes for decades and then create a whole new relational dream and actually embody.

That relational dream. It's so special. Like it's so sacred, it's so special and I'm just very grateful for you and for this conversation, like I loved every single moment of it and yeah, I'm excited to see where it goes next. Yeah. Wow. Well, thank you so much. And is, is there anything else that you wanna let people know today?

No, I feel like we covered a good amount. I think that's gonna be and digesting in people's systems for a long time. Yeah. Lots of good stuff there. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. All right. Well again, you guys check Kelsey out. Absolute beautiful, beautiful soul and teacher Really looking forward to all of the healing, that we're all going through right now.

So thank you. Thank you so much. And we'll, we'll see everybody on the next episode.



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