WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #17

WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #17

Listen Now!

Also listen and subscribe on: Apple Podcasts // Spotify // Google Podcasts // Amazon Podcast and more!

 

Or Read The Transcript:

00:00.00
wildremedies
So speaking of being entrepreneurial. Let's chat about love out loud I know you have an absolutely , it's just such an inspiring story. Um, so let's just start with like your background like how everything started I know that you went through a lot of adversity in your younger years. Um, so let's let's dig into that.

00:22.73
Nic
Sure Yeah, where would you like me to begin where it all started.

00:26.62
wildremedies
Where it all started. Yeah I know there was some healing and things that needed to happen and you know we talk about how adversity creating resilience. Maybe let's start there.

00:39.14
Nic
Yeah, for sure I mean I guess the first thing in terms of resilience for me. What was really unique about my childhood which is the level of the level of change that I was experiencing all the time I went to so many different schools almost a school year in in a way. Um.

00:54.62
wildremedies
Fast.

00:56.27
Nic
But I left mainstream school at at 14 so pursue performance. Um, so I kind of had this ph d that's what I like to call it in in change by the time I become become an adult and what's what's really incredible about that is it showed me how.

01:06.25
wildremedies
Um, evening night.

01:16.80
Nic
Few people because I had I guess a comparative experience. How few people have ever learned to build a positive relationship with change and and then going into working as an entrepreneur in in mental health and solving the problem the subsequent problems that you see in mental health and I'll I'll go into a little bit more detail of. You know that journey and just a little bit but on change. What I really started to notice was people tend to and statistically this is backed up struggle the most and are most vulnerable during periods of transition and change. Um, it's something like ninety ninety percent of um moderate to mild mental health challenges are triggered usually by some kind of life change that someone's not able to to cope with which makes sense right? Whether that's the loss of a job a breakup. Maybe a a death maybe a health crisis something that suddenly happens. Um. Or maybe it's not even sudden. Maybe it's just the the inevitable thing that was always going to happen but you were so in resistanceant to it because you didn't have the you know resource to to relate to that change in a positive way. Um lead to the stress and the anxiety and.

02:19.85
wildremedies
Me.

02:26.22
Nic
Sometimes you know depression these other complications within the spectrum that is mental Health and I really see a huge part of the solution there learning to be agile and nimble and and accepting you know, ultimately acceptance is where you really do start to to heal. Um, anything. So if you're in acceptance of what needs to be let go of and you're welcoming of of that new chapter and you're not holding yourself in the resistance which which is where suffering's created I think a lot of the pain we experience in life won't disappear, but it will will certainly be minimized.

03:03.60
wildremedies
He.

03:04.92
Nic
Um, that was something my childhood forced me to get really good at which I hated at the time. Obviously you know, but um I had to accept very young. Okay, you know change is this really inevitable part of life and letting go is this really inevitable part of life and on the other side of that.

03:07.66
wildremedies
A no.

03:20.23
wildremedies
Um, any.

03:24.45
Nic
When I relate it to my journey as Entrepreneur. It's allowed me to think so big because I think part of what part of what blocks us from being able to dream and vision in this really expansive way is on a subconscious level where actually. Already premeditating the things we're going to have to let go of like the human mind wants to focus on all the things we're potentially going to lose um on on that journey of fulfilling our our dreams which is really there's this whole other way you can You can see it this whole perspective Shift. Um.

03:45.50
wildremedies
E.

03:58.59
Nic
That's available but a lot ah lot of the time. It's just not not Practiced. So I've really always had this curiosity. It's more than that. It's more like an obsession with with helping um people really understand. The the process of change because there's a lot of it Obviously that's unpredictable, but there's also things that are predictable. There's this cycle and this pattern of change which when I when I teach love at large work I teach it as the the process of a writer of Passage. Um.

04:17.70
wildremedies
Um, Mindy.

04:33.25
Nic
Which is very similar to metamorphosis the ending of an old identity and then the the luminal space where you're not who you were but you're not yet who you're becoming and then the integration into this new identity and when you understand that this is the the form change actually does take.

04:34.47
wildremedies
Mean.

04:52.85
Nic
The biggest shift the biggest fundamental shift that happens there is usually when we go into that change and we're unconscious to the cycle of change things will be falling away from our life because we can't hold onto them anymore and we're thrown into that space of liminality but we're not empowered to consciously direct that change and so.

05:04.11
wildremedies
Any.

05:12.70
Nic
But kind of at the mercy of you know, reacting to to to to life. Um, we lose a job and you know we're sort of stressed out and we don't we don't know how to take control of that change and you know maybe um, the first thing that comes along. Because we're so afraid of being in that liminal space that discomfort of well I'm identityless all of a sudden. Maybe we take like the first offer that comes to us which is really just like the energetic echo of what you were just in which um isn't actually really helping you grow. Rather than relaxing easing into that process understanding that its natural cycle and taking the time to be like well okay, something's falling away here because I'm being called into greater expansion. Um, what do I really want you know and it's in that space. You can't control anymore. What's falling away but you can direct where that leverage is going to take you um and that's that's where I think we can really find empowerment. We can have self-control and self-regulation and and direction and conviction and conviction without needing to. Try and control the external the time um, going to so many different schools and living in different countries as as a kid anyone that had similar experiences you you know that it's always sad to say goodbye to your friends you know and when it happens a few times you also realize okay I'm going to make new friends.

06:26.40
wildremedies
Um, in the.

06:35.65
wildremedies
Um, you.

06:42.86
Nic
It's not the end of the world like the sun's still going to come up tomorrow. Um, and so that that's that to me's resilience when you're no longer fighting reality when you're in Harmony with it. Um, but I've really battled you know, talk talk about adversity I didn't I didn't know how to cope with that. Um. When I was younger like it wasn't I was forced to learn how to but that was through a lot of struggle that was through going through a lot of suffering consistently and realizing I need to I need to learn to do this to do this differently?? Um, and I also just wasn't suited to the schooling Environment. You know so all of it together.

07:20.74
wildremedies
Um, feeling.

07:21.61
Nic
Was like a bit of a mess and I was an artist at heart I saw everything as art and poetry and like just wanted to express myself I didn't want to be sitting at a desk you know learning math that wasn't really my vibe. Um, so when I when I when I started to pursue that at at 14 um I was thrown into this amazing environment. Ultimately, it was an incredible environment where I got to pursue the thing that I loved which was thedore every day. Um, but what? no one? No one taught me at that age was you. You can have these amazing sort of opportunities which I did but if you don't have that relationship with yourself if you haven't found that center in that love inside of yourself. You can't really turn those amazing opportunities into the outcomes you're you're wanting them to because you're fighting yourself. And isn't that true for so many people you know like going back to the start of the conversation. How many of of you guys said I just want you know change I just want society to to stop and then it happened and your mind goes straight to all you know.

08:16.54
wildremedies
Now.

08:26.43
wildremedies
E e.

08:33.59
Nic
I'm out of my comfort zone I just wanted to go back to normal. You know when is this going to end and you have to learn so to really go with it. Um, and so that at that point in my life was my biggest initiation through that but my mental health really really suffered and it was quite a um.

08:51.96
Nic
I Don't know if it was a competitive environment or I just related to the environment competitively because I wanted to be the best because I associated my worth with with what I saw as being the best at at my art school. Um I had these ideas about what that what that was um.

09:06.13
wildremedies
Um, and.

09:11.10
Nic
And St striped so hard to my demises you know which resulted in a um, ah life threatening eating disorder. What's really interesting about going through an experience like that is it really is related to identity. You know it's so linked and I think this is true to.

09:24.45
wildremedies
E.

09:30.10
Nic
So all mental Health challenges in a way when when the identity starts to and even in our language you know I am depressed I am anorexic. There's ah, there's ah, a bias towards identification with those experiences. Um, if you don't know how to let go.

09:43.30
wildremedies
And he.

09:48.59
Nic
It's going to continue to grow Vines you know in the inside of you which which definitely is what happened to me and it it was really being in in the experience of Anorexia form. The the first you know year or so. Really thought that I was in control of that. Um, eating disorder and it wasn't until I really felt so helpless. Um that I started to realize it it had control of me. Um, and although that that experience specifically not everyone has had.

10:07.55
wildremedies
A.

10:25.44
Nic
When I share my story I encourage people to think about where that's relevant to them. How many situations have you found yourself in in life where you really thought you had it under control and when you know when all is said and done if you were to really be honest with yourself. You feel totally snowed under. Um, and you you don't know how to get out of a situation that ultimately um isn't healthy for you isn't isn't the best isn't the best thing for you. Um I learned so much in that though I really learned how as a society we relate to to pain.

10:53.97
wildremedies
He.

11:03.91
Nic
Because as the as the illness got worse. Obviously it it showed and that was also different to I think a lot of people that go through versions of mental Health challenges that are less visible. It's not always, You're not seeing people's reaction.

11:16.83
wildremedies
He.

11:23.80
Nic
But for me in that experience I was seeing the way people related to it because it would be the first thing on their face when when I met them or when I was talking to them when it started to get really critical and I couldn't I couldn't hide them anymore and in my recovery from that it posed a lot of questions I had a lot of curiosities. In a general sense about society like why are we so quick to resist and and reject something when we when when when it makes us uncomfortable, especially when it represents vulnerability or it represents pain you know and it again I think it.

11:52.39
wildremedies
E.

12:02.37
Nic
Stems from this really negative relationship with change a lot of the time because we'd have to lean in and we'd have to open up and it's unknown to us and it's uncomfortable. Um, that really think about the impact that's having on our on our world on our. Society at large and even in our own life when you when you can't open your heart to have those difficult conversations when you can't sort of breathe into um these experiences that will transform you and probably the other person because of your own internal contraction.

12:31.33
wildremedies
He.

12:35.93
Nic
What it's ultimately doing is limiting your life. It's limiting your ability to connect with others. It's it's limiting your ability to vision and Dream. It's limiting your ability to make really difficult decisions and I think if you want to have a truly expansive life. That's that's something that's inevitable. That you can have to figure out how to do make difficult decisions because there's there's going to be plenty of them. Um, and all of that comes down to resilience and I I had a very deep insight into just how removed we are from being encouraged to do that.

12:59.70
wildremedies
Yeah, and.

13:14.60
Nic
On a societal level when I was basically the um the the point of projection of that you know through through the through the eating disorder and interesting like ah interestingly a big part of my healing was the shift of thinking From. You know, no one's there for me and no one can lean in and and help me to Wow you know is that person so unable to be with their own vulnerability that the only um decision they can make when they're around pain is to reject it and it's really just a projection of. Themselves that they're in such a deep rejection of self and for me coming out of that experience my capacity to be with people's humanity is really deep. It takes a lot for me to start to feel uncomfortable in any kind of um emotion you know whether it's deep.

14:09.86
wildremedies
He.

14:12.57
Nic
Deep grief or or shame or anger I've got a very deep ability to hold that and that's because I've had to hold myself in that. So it's kind of I have um, it's It's much easier to feel like people can come as they are I don't I don't need you to be any certain way. You can just be you.

14:19.16
wildremedies
G.

14:30.98
Nic
Um, and from that place. Very beautiful. Relationships can be developed Um, and yeah learning to deal with with the change process. Um and actually learn to love the change process and get excited for the change process. That's what it.. That's what it unlocks ultimately. Which became a big part of the ethos of yeah, the work I went on to do as ah as a entrepreneur.

14:58.63
wildremedies
Oh My gosh. Yeah, that is such a beautiful story and there is so much to unpack there I'm curious. Do you do you? still? um, experience a lot of change in your life or has that. Sort of settled down as you've gotten a little bit older.

15:15.66
Nic
Yeah, well um I mean at the moment. Love out louds moved into tech So basically scaling a text. So um, so I'd say every day is a well a wild adventure. Yeah, but and even like you know this is a new level of um challenge for me.

15:23.94
wildremedies
Um, yeah, lot of change.

15:32.27
Nic
And I'm having to adjust my comfortability with with change and it's not even interestingly as a leader. It's not even I'm pretty comfortable with the change but where I've been doing growth work is my ability to um, hold.

15:33.63
wildremedies
And.

15:49.63
Nic
And deliver that level of change consistently to others. That's that's definitely that's a point of discomfort when as a leader sometimes I just wish I could be more consistent you know, but it's not actually the right thing for the business to keep going in a direction that's not working. Um, yeah, and the the easier I become about it.

15:51.53
wildremedies
Has any man.

16:02.89
wildremedies
Yeah.

16:08.84
Nic
You know the the better it is for the the company and actually the better it is for the team. So there's constant points of contraction that I'm having to face inside myself. Um, but what I've learnt to do is have routines you know I points of consistency that no matter what's happening.

16:11.80
wildremedies
E E e.

16:27.10
Nic
On the outside. There's something I can come home to and that's been especially true this year more than any other time in my life I've really I've developed that I'm I'm more serious about it than I've ever been probably because. Of of the level of change. You know that that I'm dealing with every day um to not have that would mean would make it very very hard for me to to cope.

16:57.30
wildremedies
Yeah, for sure. Okay, well I'm really interested in what that routine looks like and yeah, Okay, so what this is kind of bringing me to right now is just even on my own journey right Now. Um. I'm noticing that they're I mean I've always noticed that there is this big theme of like deep transform transformative um events that happen in my life and they're usually quite sudden and dramatic and I.

17:24.42
Nic
Have.

17:27.62
wildremedies
I Always go back like I like to dig into astrology and now looking more into the Gene Keys and I have this. It's called the the 40 s the the number forty s on the Gene key 47 which is quite predominant in my chart which essentially talks about exactly what you were talking about and so I'm just curious. Um, to see what your chart would look like and if that's in there as well. Um, it's It's a challenging placement to have but again like you are always offered these opportunities to be faced with a lot of change and a lot of challenge in your life and. It's just part of your your work and this incarnation to build that resiliency and so it's really beautiful that you've done that and also recognize that at such a young age I mean like.

18:10.43
Nic
Um, that's.

18:16.70
wildremedies
You have been winning awards and all kinds of things for your advocacy and your work at like oh my gosh like I made a note here. 1 of Australia's top 100 most influential women at the age of 21 like that is wild. That is wild like how how did all of that happen at such a young age.

18:40.43
Nic
I Mean there's um, there's so many ways that I can answer that question right? It's but I think like to to try and give the most helpful simplest answer. Um and you actually alluded to it before was through these experiences I had to face. The reality of death and she says that's that was where the path I was on with Anorexia Basically it It took me to that that crossroads I had to make change or that was that was the next you know reality of that of that path that I was on.

18:58.73
wildremedies
And.

19:16.10
Nic
Um, which is ah is a very rare thing I think for any 16 17 year old to be faced with you know how many 16 ten year olds are thinking about death. It's just it's a pretty uncommon experience unless you've maybe had.

19:28.20
wildremedies
Um, a.

19:33.20
Nic
Of Health crisis yourself or maybe you've experienced a death close to you and all those people that I've ever met. They all changed. You don't go through an experience they thought and unchanged. Um, yeah, so.

19:42.75
wildremedies
Um, yeah.

19:50.55
Nic
What that then forced me to do is basically and I would encourage everyone to do this, you know, Even even if you don't have ah a life event that's forcing you to for me I had to consciously choose life now a lot of us us are just Living. We're just. Living by default because a mom my dad chose to have sex you know and and here we are like while um and maybe later in Life. You know, maybe at that point in the cadence of our sort of societal milestones that we lay Out. We start to think maybe I should give back. You know or maybe I I'm going to have kids and that's going to be my way of of leaving a legacy in the world. Um, my journey was very different I had to I had to choose that in order to save my life and to get out of these really toxic patterns of ultimately I sort of Associate Anorexia with addiction.

20:46.61
wildremedies
Me.

20:48.27
Nic
I Had to find strength to to overcome that. Um and it was one of the hardest you know, um things I've ever done to Rehabilitate. It's It's not just mental for for me at that Stage. You had to rehahabilitate my body. It had to rehabilitate my my mind you know, um. It It did damage to me spiritually when you betray yourself like that consistently every day it's It's a lot of it's a lot of healing that you've got to go through um to forgive you know I had to forgive myself I had to forgive myself for allowing that level of Self-p Punishmentishment. Um.

21:08.99
wildremedies
Um, you need.

21:24.65
Nic
Is is's very deep work and I think like that journey isn't talked about enough. So so so often you'll have someone that's gone through adversity and then you know the next citation is oh and you became the the most influential top 100 most influential woman in Australia but it's like no like.

21:30.33
wildremedies
Um, and.

21:43.55
Nic
Were so like let's talk I think the thing that's most relevant is the moments where I couldn't even think a day ahead. You know my my the frame of my thought was like how am I going to get through the next minute of this anxiety. You know that that's how narrow in moments. My.

21:51.74
wildremedies
Um, and.

21:56.18
wildremedies
Are.

22:01.41
Nic
My frame became and I think that that's true Strength. You know that that the winning of an award or the success of a business is how you show up in those micro moments and the strength that you cultivate and a lot of the time by the way and I think this is true for a lot of people I didn't feel strong. In those moments I didn't feel like I was coping in those moments I felt like the world was going to end I felt like I was failing but the fact that you endured it. You know that you felt all of those things that you felt that were so uncomfortable that was so difficult and you're still here you know and and you did. Find a way even when your mind was telling you that you didn't do it in a way that was good enough or you know you could have handled it better of this or that you you still got through it and that that's the true cultivation of Strength. Um, and I see those big wins really as as.

22:50.30
wildremedies
He.

22:56.90
Nic
Enough of those small winds adding up to to create to create that. Um, of course it's It's incredible to be recognized for hard work. But you also can't You can't make it about that. Um, you've got to make about defining your character. It's like when I step into.

23:08.97
wildremedies
Here.

23:16.35
Nic
Um, a wait session or a yoga class. Um I intentionally don't think about you know in in 5 years time am I finally going to be able to do this pose. You know perfectly I think like what's my relationship to myself right now and how can I how can I connect. Even deeper and become even more deeply present. You know today than than yesterday and over time of course that's going to add up to to greater success. Um, but that's what really matters and I've also been at times of fast.

23:45.67
wildremedies
He.

23:54.14
Nic
Fast-paced. Um you know where there's been pressure and expectation in the inner business as there always is and I've lost sight of those moments I've lost sight of what really matters and that's that's a really empty path and these are the stories of people that will have it all. On paper and how common is that story but they don't actually have anything because they they've sacrificed the things that truly are important present you know and and and growth internally and connection to self and the relationships around you.

24:15.18
wildremedies
A.

24:31.20
Nic
In the pursuit of something that's ultimately two dimensional. Um, when when I won that award. Um, that was coming off the back of a twoyear trip around Australia in in my van speaking in communities and schools and. That's the thing that really matters you know you know how fucking shit scared I was as a teenager driving through the the desert in Australia some of the wildest raous desert. You know you're talking 30 hours before you get to the next roadhouse carrying Jerry Cans in fifty degree heat like.

24:52.48
wildremedies
Um.

25:07.48
wildremedies
Oh my god.

25:09.38
Nic
I was so I was so scared I was so scared but I did it and that to me is the true award you know and the true award was meeting those edges of myself and still choosing to to pursue my dreams regardless of how scared I was. Getting up and talking in front of kids like now that feels easy but that was not easy, especially like at the time I was only a couple of years older than them so in a way they sort of felt like my peers. Um and it's it's all those moments it was the moment that I had like.

25:38.30
wildremedies
Yeah.

25:45.65
Nic
really really bad um I was really really badly sick I had food poisoning and I had ah ah, an interview 1 of the first interviews where the meteor had actually wanted to cover the story of the trip and I was so sick and I was living in a van. You know it was like. I was at the I was at the macins trying to like pull myself together before I had to present you know so that that's that's the reality of what I think everyone's story looks like on the way to success and as I move more and more into success which I'm deeply grateful for like i.

26:13.79
wildremedies
Um, yeah.

26:20.91
Nic
It's amazing to watch my company grow and to watch my team grow and and all of those things don't ever don't ever lose sight in this Instagram world of just how real those realities are for every person you're looking at and you think they have something I want or you know it looks so easy for them.

26:38.50
wildremedies
Hidden.

26:39.64
Nic
If someone's making something something look easy or simple. They've had to go through a lot of shit to to refine it to a place that it seems that way.

26:48.58
wildremedies
Yeah, yeah, Absolutely yeah, and it's tough because that comparison um can be really paralyzing for for a lot of people I know even myself. It's like if I find myself doing it I'm like no okay, we're turning this off. This is not reality. You know this is that doesn't serve anyone but it's really tough with social media and things these days. There's so much out there and.

27:11.24
Nic
And it doesn't serve the person either. Sometimes that's a nice thing to remember that that when you see someone in that light you know, Ultimately what you're doing is dehumanizing them and it's also our responsibility to tell the truth like we have to be honest I think especially as a leader.

27:24.73
wildremedies
And.

27:29.56
Nic
I Challenge leaders on this all the time like if you're if you're creating ah a bit of a deceptive image. You know these influencers that are always on I don't know yachts and Jets and this and that I hate that shit because it's like okay sure you can show your lifestyle be proud of that. But.

27:40.70
wildremedies
Um, and is yeah.

27:48.81
Nic
Be honest about you know and for many of them. Maybe it's that they had to cut a bunch of corners and that keeps them awake at night you know like what what is it? What's the true. What's the truth behind because you're selling that and so if you're selling it be be honest about what that actually.

27:54.49
wildremedies
E yeah.

28:06.26
Nic
What that actually is and um, yeah, like I guess I've I've done a lot of facilitation in my life as well And so I've held people in the humanity of their experiences and that's been one of the biggest gifts of my work in out space is.

28:06.54
wildremedies
In.

28:21.23
wildremedies
You.

28:28.82
Nic
You truly see that nothing in life. That's really worth It. You know is um I don't want to say easy because I think when you're on path and when aligned when when things are aligned it can come in this easeful flowing way. And that's a sign of alignment but there's still something that will always be asked of you. You know and sometimes what's being asked of you is courage. Sometimes what is being asked of you is transparency is strength is determination is will is is self-control like you're always going to have tasks and so don't think that.

28:48.63
wildremedies
E.

29:04.30
Nic
That anyone has anything without having needed to to give something and and if they and if they haven't given anything on the way they will be forced to give something at some point and that's usually you know the demise of their creation or some kind of big drama that happens in their life and then you know.

29:16.35
wildremedies
Me.

29:22.18
Nic
They have to pay their dues. We all ultimately have to reap what we sow.

29:24.16
wildremedies
Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful I am curious I Really like how what enough the word is like But. Um, when you were talking about the eating disorder and how you related that to self- Betrayyal right? So like these consistent Self-berayals I Thought that was a really interesting way to frame that and I'm curious like for anybody who is. Going through. Let's say like an addiction or a mental health crisis right now and I mean there is a lot of that happening right? like we are in a mental health crisis.

30:02.23
Nic
1

30:08.13
wildremedies
Um, you know I found an interesting stat on your website. It was something like 85% of the western world is dealing with loneliness every single day which is wild and I'd love to dig into why? what? why? you think that is happening. Um, but first I'm just wondering like.

30:14.86
Nic
You know she's pregnant.

30:25.28
Nic
Several media.

30:27.31
wildremedies
What some tips you might have for folks who are just kind of going through it right now.

30:35.12
Nic
Yeah, these are these are big. These are big Questions. You know it's because there's no,, There's no one. There's no one answer. Um if I was to give a uniform answer for me, it. It would be faith. I Think no matter what you're going through. Um in terms of challenges If you're in a situation and I would say if someone's been in sort of prolonged states of loneliness or mental Health challenges. It's something that they're actively wanting to change. You know they wish it was different. Um, and if you haven't yet been able to cultivate that change. Um, you need to be able to draw on a strength and in in moments where it doesn't feel available to you like you just like when.

31:18.26
wildremedies
E.

31:26.94
Nic
Someone's dealing with depression when I've been dealing with depression in my past it just hasn't everything has felt so hard. You know like cooking a meal feels hard. Let alone figuring out how to change your life. That's just totally overwhelming. You know so where where do you get that strength from.

31:32.81
wildremedies
Now.

31:39.62
wildremedies
2

31:44.38
Nic
Um, and for me I feel very blessed because I've I've always felt connected to to God I've always felt connected to something bigger than me. That's even in my darkest times. There's been something that's existed in me that I know is bigger than my pain bigger than my limitation bigger than my. Challenges Um, even when I've felt you know, not able to embody that I've had a faith that that it's true and that it's existed and the times where I have felt expansive and elated and everything in my life feels like it's going in divine Order. I've had those experiences enough to know that there is an intelligence lisus is what I believe that that's governing this experience and from there I can convince myself. Okay, well if there's a governing intelligence that is separate from nothing including myself. Um. That's equal in the sunset. Um, and the baby and the trees as as it is in me I'm not separate from that I'm from that Miracle I'm not separate from that perfection and it's that thought that allows me to to trust what I'm going through a bit more because I think.

32:52.16
wildremedies
E e.

33:00.57
Nic
Depression sucks. No matter what But what makes it suck even more and what makes loneliness suck even more than it does just by default is fighting it. You know I think it's when when you fight the depression when you tell yourself, you're wrong for being depressed when you fight the loneliness and.

33:09.52
wildremedies
And.

33:19.14
Nic
Tell yourself you know I've failed every relationship and work on I you know find the love of my life and do my friends hate me and um, my coworkers bitching about me like whatever the thoughts are when you're fighting it rather than just acknowledging it which is ultimately what it Wants. You know your loneliness wants you to meet it with tenderness and to love yourself in that. Um, because if you can't heal that feeling of loneliness and I say this from a deep place of understanding like this is not.

33:40.92
wildremedies
E.

33:53.59
Nic
Sort of this arbitrary answer like I really get what it feels like to be in those places. Um, and you want anything but what I'm about to say to be true because you just want to you want relief from it. But what it's really calling you to do. It's like. Rumy You know the cure for the pain is in the pain it wants you to lean in and it wants you to be present and it wants you to learn how to heal that without external stimulus first. So so that when you start inviting things into your life or life starts to sort of.

34:19.60
wildremedies
He.

34:29.00
Nic
Open up new doors so that you're not as Lonely or that you enter a period where your depression is um, is lifting again the way that you can be in that space is ah like deeply appreciative but totally unattached and I think that's how we keep.. That's how we keep things alive in our life. That's it's when we learn to appreciate the flower instead of picking the flower you know and strangling and and holding the flower when we have these times of deep introspection and we're feeling lonely.

34:53.89
wildremedies
A.

35:04.57
Nic
If We don't do that work in those times when life's put us in a position where we have to Confront that Um, if we don't do that work then we're gonna come out of that cycle with the same tendency to attach with the same tendency to to be so afraid that we're gonna lose. Thing that that we think saving us from that loneliness that we grab onto it. But if we don't need saving from the loneliness because we know how to heal ourselves in that space then when a soulmate does come along or a new friendship group appears in your life. You So you relate to it in a way that's very different.

35:24.19
wildremedies
He he.

35:40.55
Nic
You just appreciate the beauty and you allow it to be what it is and it's It's a lot healthier and it's a lot more sustainable.

35:50.40
wildremedies
Yeah, yeah I definitely resonate with that. Um I've struggled a lot with depression in my life and anxiety and all kinds of health issues and so many circumstances just that just felt like they were never going to end.

36:07.41
wildremedies
Um, But what I've learned is that you know that the aspect of impermanence like nothing does last Forever. So Even when you are in the deepest darkest pit like I remember just laying in bed and being like I I don't know when I'm going to get out. Like is it a week from now I don't know you know and the anxiety starts to creep up and then all of the self-hatred and I should be able to pull myself out of this and I've got to a point where I just had to learn to allow it.

36:42.84
Nic
Yeah.

36:45.21
wildremedies
You know like I feel like fucking driving off a cliff today every bone in my body hurts and I can't get out of bed and I guess I'm not answering emails today you know as much. Anxiety as that would bring me as an entrepreneur and feeling that had to be responsible for all of these things which you know I do have a responsibility for things if I just couldn't function then I just. I wouldn't function and I just had to trust like you mentioned like that faith aspect I think is so incredibly important because if you don't have that it just it makes yeah it makes everything so much more difficult. And I just knew that the process that I was going through was a lesson that I needed to go through in order to heal myself and to be able to help others at some point right? like I I discovered took many many years. But. My depression was actually called or was caused by food right? It was caused by gluten and yeah I mean there were other things on top of that you know I had gone through tumultuous you know, breakups and things like that that would definitely you know make me struggle with my mood also just you know, growing up.

37:50.28
Nic
Um, it is intense.

38:07.24
wildremedies
There were circumstances where it was more of a mood-based depression rather than you know, um, something that was changing the chemicals in my body because of what I was eating um but that was the lesson there right? but I had to go through that process of suffering for many many many years.

38:16.39
Nic
And.

38:25.86
wildremedies
To finally find the thing and now be able to teach people about it. Um, because I feel like a lot like a lot of people are suffering with mental Health you know yes because of the circumstances of society but also because of all of the bullshit in our food right? like that's a huge part of it as well. Yeah.

38:35.73
Nic
Um, yeah.

38:43.90
Nic
Um, where and everything else which is food water chemicals. It's yeah then you start to go down. Yeah official. Definitely.

38:48.10
wildremedies
Oh god it's just an assault 20 from 7 Yeah, ah yeah, so what do you do now to stay on the top of your game.

39:03.81
Nic
Yeah, yeah, it's a great question I think um, really like a lot of the lessons. We've been speaking through up until now are ah my strategy I've really ah I've really had to learn to not fight reality you know and.

39:13.25
wildremedies
Here here.

39:20.56
Nic
And actually like if if you have a lot of visionary minds that that listen to to this amazing podcast. Maybe they can relate like I think as a visionary you do by Default fight reality because you're looking at reality and you're like I don't accept this I have a vision. I Have a vision of how you know quality should be and I didn't realize actually how much that was making me blind to to facing What was really there and it's it's not necessarily about um.

39:37.69
wildremedies
Yeah.

39:51.71
Nic
You know, okay reality is this and that just is what it is so I can never make change. No, it's like this is truly what's present Face. It accept it and then figure out how you can move with it to get to where you want to go and and eliminate force like that to me I I believe. If I was to summarize my my superpower as an entrepreneur and and a leader and maybe the thing that I notice is potentially different about my style compared to a lot of others. Um the potentially suffer more in in that seat. It's that.

40:28.50
wildremedies
And.

40:29.71
Nic
I've had to learn really agile and I think when you have a vision and you're fixed on the vision and this was the lessons Anorexia gave to me right? like I had this vision of how I had to look um what I had to achieve.

40:40.41
wildremedies
E.

40:45.32
Nic
And had to learn the very very hard way that I went through very real daily hourly minute- by minute suffering of starvation and when I finally got there I had nothing you know. Ah I went through all of that suffering.

40:58.87
wildremedies
And.

41:04.51
Nic
Just to be told if you don't start to gain weight Again, you're going to die you know which was so different to to what I had in my head and so um, the dark side of of having a tunnel vision is um, you're never open to actually.

41:17.53
wildremedies
A.

41:23.83
Nic
Seeing you know what's what's really there and simultaneously you need to be able to do that as well as hold this this vision for for a better future. But if you're holding a vision for a better future and you're sacrificing what's here now or you're rejecting what's here Now. It's really no way to live. You know it's a very sacrificial punishing way to live because you never arrive you never ever ever get there and um, it's the same for someone that's suffering with you know mental illness or maybe a health complication.

41:45.91
wildremedies
Had yep.

42:00.32
Nic
It's so it's such a paradox because when you're not well all you want to be as well. Just just imagine just imagine this horrible thing to imagine I know but imagine you never got well. How could you find peace and happiness where you are.

42:03.47
wildremedies
He.

42:19.42
Nic
And the paradox is if you can you're cultivating in real time. The very thing that's going to heal you and and that's what leads you towards wellness you know, but when we're always looking outward you know and that's.

42:29.82
wildremedies
Um, he.

42:37.78
Nic
It's the toughest Lesson. It's the toughest lesson to learn but it's the most powerful lesson to learn and I do my best to lead that way and I do my best to bring others into an environment where they're also not sacrificing now for what we're Creating. Um and that's often the feedback you know that. Um, I get from the the closest people in my team is have come from environments where they're super gifted and super talented. Um that they felt exploited you know and so um, my job.

43:07.62
wildremedies
E.

43:14.39
Nic
I See my job as as that,, um, that to listen as much as I am um to build a bridge with them and figure out how we can do both and if we've got to slow slow this down in order for that to be balanced then you know let's make those decisions as we as we go and to not to not have that sort of mentality. Um. Which me of all people that doesn't come naturally to me come very focused individual I know what I want so assessing things in the present as I go um I've had to learn that patience I've really had to learn that patience and I'm still learning that patience and if you ask people that works for me.

43:42.31
wildremedies
Um, unique.

43:49.80
wildremedies
He.

43:52.69
Nic
You know, even three years ago that they'd probably have terrible things to say about about me in that way I've I've continually had to learn how to be more of that.

44:01.15
wildremedies
Patience is a hard one. It's really hard, especially when you have a powerful vision and you've seen it and you're just like I need to bring this into reality now. Yeah I definitely identify with that.

44:04.70
Nic
The.

44:12.75
Nic
Who chinese.

44:18.21
wildremedies
And I know on my entrepreneurial journey again I guess this was kind of like this comparison thing but it wasn't when I started out. Um, but I guess it was kind of in the middle of my journey and um I was working for Mine Valley overseas there in Malaysia and I was very much immersed. And the startup culture that was at the time just about grinding and hustling like you know, just intensely that that whole like everything that was happening in Silicon Valley at that time because this was like 2014 to 2016 um, and I know things have shifted a little bit more where people are talking more about like work life balance and that sort of thing but it was not that at that point and so I was kind of thrown into that culture because mind valley had adopted it at that time I don't think they do that anymore from what I've heard but it was very much that. But I was also kind of that person as well like I was always like a hustler right? like I was always working and I remember at that point I was working on Mine Valley I had another startup um that I had co-founded there and I'm just grinding till you know.

45:16.80
Nic
So.

45:32.43
wildremedies
1 2 in the morning sometimes and getting to the point of just like crawling into bed and yeah, so you're just you have like these big dreams and you're so focused and you want to get it done and you see again, you're comparing or seeing all of these other businesses that seemingly take off so quickly you think right and have this level of success. And when you're not seeing it manifesting as quickly as you want. It can be It can be challenging for sure. So. There's a spiritual practice in entrepreneurship I think I had this conversation with the founder of the shift network who was just recently on the podcast and he was that you know.

46:05.70
Nic
And.

46:11.49
wildremedies
That's what he said and I was like a hundred percent 100% that is such a deep spiritual practice in entrepreneurship. Yeah.

46:21.98
Nic
Yeah I could not agree more than that like definitely you know in um, many different philosophies that they'll talk about different ways of connecting to to God or connecting to the divine and um devotionality I know is is definitely my path. And I the expression of that is my vision you know and to no matter what consistently be devotional, um, part of devotion is listening to what it requires of you. You know, not just forcing it to be but actually having that be a 2 wo-way.

46:40.20
wildremedies
Um, and yeah.

46:51.33
wildremedies
A.

46:58.43
Nic
There's a level of obedience you know and that that was like very I think provocative for a lot of people who want to be um, self-starers and hustle and make it happen but actually like I suffocate my vision if I don't listen to it. It's its own living organism. That's.

46:59.20
wildremedies
And and then.

47:15.30
wildremedies
Me.

47:16.73
Nic
It's me to be a servant to it. Um not the other way around. And yeah when when you realize that if you have a big vision and I think that that's that's the relationship. That's the orientation that has to occur if you have a vision that's beyond just you if you have a vision for.

47:21.13
wildremedies
Keep me.

47:33.23
wildremedies
Um, he.

47:37.10
Nic
World you've got to surrender it surrender it over to an intelligence that's beyond you because you can't we as 1 person can change the world but the way 1 person changes the world I believe is by surrendering to something much bigger than just them and um.

47:52.60
wildremedies
Um, in.

47:53.95
Nic
Yeah I think in in this culture of individualism that really gets lost.

47:59.38
wildremedies
Yeah, absolutely well this leads up perfectly to my next question which will probably be my last as we're getting to the end of our time together. Um, but your vision right? like this civilization of love by 2030

48:06.64
Nic
Are.

48:16.21
wildremedies
Why don't you talk about that a little bit more and like what you guys do at love out Loud how you work with people all of that good stuff.

48:24.26
Nic
Yeah, it's my favorite topic. Ah so I guess the first thing to understand about love out loud is it was a um, ah philosophy that came from deep observation working with people I had different. Companies that I had started and run mostly in the nonprofit space before I started love out loud. Um I was also a commissioner in the australian government for 4 years which was really kind of interesting contrast because a lot of my work in the nonprofit space was working directly with communities. Um. And so it was the work with those communities and the success I had achieved in those communities that then led to being an ally within within government to help them understand how to approach mental health differently. So it was a very broad spectrum of experiences and with that came. Deep observation and um, a lot of listening to to what was really there for people and what I really started to see was it didn't matter if I was speaking to the prime minister if I was speaking to the worker in a rural community if you could get past the. Superficial and actually hear them. They were all wanting the same thing you know and um, everyone just wants to be seen and heard and so at this at the time what felt like a huge epiphany where I was like oh my god like the system. It's nothing to do with the system is how people show up within the system.

49:45.83
wildremedies
Um e.

49:56.83
Nic
You know it's how it's how people are ah treating each other day to day which sounds so obvious but it's it's so missed in these conversations you you work at that level of government. Everyone's wanting to find you know. The solution the program that's going to fix mental Health The drug that's going to fix mental Health and Nohilate. That's not not life. You know what? what that is is human beings trying to take a very complex thing that is life and make it really really really simple in the process of that. Um.

50:25.31
wildremedies
And then.

50:31.35
Nic
We lose all of the Nuance. We lose the natural process of change in evolution full circle. Um, and I saw that being done to such a degree that there were so many gaps because none of that gray was accounted for everyone was trying to find that Box. Um. And it was was seeing that and seeing that the biggest transformation I ever saw occur in communities when I had the the privilege of working with those communities was when I was the most present it was when I said you know what? I'm not just gonna write you know a program for the council to. To attempt at rolling out into the school down I'm actually going to go and live in the community for a month I'm goingnna be that to listen I'm gonna I'm gonna care I'm going to to show up like that's when the change happens and that's always true.. There's a spiritual law called the law of value and it's.

51:15.17
wildremedies
Um, and.

51:28.79
Nic
Value is a direct result of the energy and intent put into something and I think that you can't create huge value without the intent you know and the willingness to to to show up for that. Um, it's just energetically doesn't make sense.

51:30.78
wildremedies
Any.

51:45.51
wildremedies
Um, yeah.

51:48.24
Nic
But simultaneously if you've become masterful at something you might be able to give a million dollars of value in a minute but you've had to There's all of those decades worth of refining and thinking that's put you in a position where that truly is integoous as that as an exchange and so seeing that I realized I could. Could support advocacy in this way, you know for the next thirty years but ultimately it's the wrong race. What I saw as the right race is what truly touches people. What truly intrinsically inspires people to to be different. And the answer when I started asking that question was so simple. It's love you know when when someone truly finds love inside themselves. Um, and naturally at that time I started to to look you know? ah that who are the people The leaders the the prophets the gus and ah the teaching thist and how accessible is it how much do we really understand love in our society. It's really arguably not very well because the ideas of love have been given to us by Disney you know and by hollywood it's not It's very 1 ne-dimensional.

52:49.60
wildremedies
The.

53:02.60
Nic
And it's It's not accessible to understand that Love is a skill set that we can cultivate and develop and it's an action. We can take and it's a strategy in leadership and it's a strategy in life and so it was seeing that that inspired me to to write Love out loud. First and foremost and get that philosophy really clear and then it was an ah, incredibly beautiful journey to watch it grow into into a movement and to see that something so simple at the philosophy itself is very simple that there's this love inside of you.

53:33.72
wildremedies
She she.

53:37.64
Nic
And first you need to discover it and when you discover it. The rest of the journey is learning how to express that without limitation to to be able to love out loud and when you learn how to do that.

53:46.38
wildremedies
A.

53:50.43
Nic
You know I'm part of that journey is to heal all of the wounds and Traumas that are standing in the way of you being able to freely Express love to yourself and to the world and like just like the innocence of a child. You know it's there. You find true liberation. Um, and I think that's why you really.? You're on purpose because how could you not be on purpose if that's where you're coming from inside of the belt. It's a very pure.. It's a very pure place to be.. There's no agenda. There's no motive and that's freedom when you're not needing to cover anything up. Um, and.

54:10.75
wildremedies
And.

54:25.17
Nic
Yeah, and and seeing the powerful application of that philosophy in people's lives like serious transformation like people really leaving their jobs and you know, big, big big changes that um I think many. Many modalities I'd seen people work with there's a lot of revisiting the same thing again and again and again and it's not compelling people to actually take action and that that's where my passion is is what what is the the breakthrough. What's the reframe that really allows people to to.

54:54.78
wildremedies
Um.

55:02.38
Nic
To do things differently in their life to get more comfortable with change and I think the power of Love does. It's really the It's only the power of love Really a lot of the time when when the fear is so great. Um, and it was this yeah living organism that continued to to build.

55:09.64
wildremedies
E.

55:20.65
Nic
On itself and it really is I'm it's like servant truly that's how I feel um but because the philosophy was so clear and I guess there was this power in it being a people's movement that there were so many different versions of love out loud that exist.

55:27.18
wildremedies
Is.

55:39.50
Nic
In every human and their expression of it. Um, the team and I started to see just how how much we could use this as a methodology behind so much of the new world that we want to design you know what would it look like if all of our systems. Built on on these foundations and this understanding and then you really you start to see why society is where it's at because the foundations of where so many of our systems have been built whether it be educational health or politics like it's It's rotten to the core quite literally. It's not.

56:12.37
wildremedies
Is.

56:14.10
Nic
It's not pure and so we can make all of these superficial changes. But it's just like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. It's not true change and we're solving big problems like the civilization of love to us in its highest expression is a ah non-local civilization. But literally that has its own health systems and education systems and you can be a citizen and you can trade economically but it's not it's not money it's some integrity and attention and compassion and alignment and love as as the currency and so within. Within that. There's there's a lot of architecture architecting and infrastructure that we're constantly growing and building one of the things I'm most excited for is the tech that we're developing at the moment which will have the ability to measure alignment to belief systems. Um through yeah.

57:08.74
wildremedies
Um, what Wow how does not work.

57:13.26
Nic
Um, so using different bio Signals. So the way the the body different parts of the body and the mind respond um that that can basically be transformed into a ah coherent score with with certain certain belief systems and then helping the individual. Clear blocks that are in the way of Alignment. So Obviously on an individual level. That's amazing, but imagine um on a collective level say there was something crazy that was announced like a nuclear war tomorrow but being able to have a technology.

57:32.26
wildremedies
So.

57:47.11
Nic
Can send a push notification out to half a billion people around the world and say hey would you like to become congruent to the belief I live in a peaceful world and through the power of the collective subconscious mind actually create enough momentum towards. The eradication of that timeline through no external force just through internal alignment at ah at a significant enough scale. Um, and so that's my my deepest passion I think technology is is definitely the way.

58:18.80
wildremedies
Are you.

58:18.89
Nic
To do it. But I think the way we think about technology is so I mean that's I could do through podcasts just on that technology is a system. You know it's ah it's not hardware. It's not. It's a system and when we start to think about technology like that.

58:24.43
wildremedies
You know.

58:35.95
Nic
Then we get to really examine. You know the ethics of that system and the the foundations of that system and and that's a big part of my passion as a systems thinker and a design thinker but also this deep part of me that's philosophical and poetic. To be able to bridge those things which I think in building any World. You know any civilization. It's It's the combination of all of those types of thinking that that bring it to life. Um, So yeah I love it. I can't I can't get enough of what. What we do day to day.

59:12.86
wildremedies
Wow. Okay I had no idea that it was going in that direction that is fascinating and so so inspiring I Love your vision. It's so beautiful. And so for people to connect with you So you you have courses and things are you guys doing live events again. Are you getting back into that now. Good.

59:35.93
Nic
We are actually yeah so please check out. Um, check out our socials in our site. So we're gonna be um, launching a few new intakes really soon in the next couple of weeks. Yeah.

59:46.10
wildremedies
Amazing. Okay, well how what is the best way for people to to connect with you and follow your journey like get notified when this tech comes out all that good jazz.

01:00:01.61
Nic
For the tech you can visit in truth I am truth one word Dot Io um in truth technology is the the tech harm of love out loud and for me just yeah, following me on any on any platform really Linkedin Facebook Instagram. Probably in start for listeners or Linkedin. Ah, everything's Nicole Gibson except Instagram which is Nick Gibson and I see Gibson. Um, where you go to my website Nicole Gibson Dot Com um yeah please connect I also love when I do a podcast I love hearing what you guys. You know took from it and so please don't hesitate to reach out and have a chat.

01:00:41.90
wildremedies
Yeah, absolutely and feel free. You know for anybody listening to you know if this podcast resonated with you take a screenshot share it tag myself? Nicole yeah, take us let us know what you what you thought.

01:00:51.10
Nic
Support recent last. But.

01:00:58.92
Nic
Um, and.

01:01:00.28
wildremedies
All right? Well thank you so much for this beautiful conversation Again, you were just such an inspiration I'm so happy to to know you and to get to connect with you again and watch you on this amazing journey that you're on.

01:01:17.86
Nic
Likewise my friend congratulations on your podcasts. A.

01:01:19.80
wildremedies
Thank you all right.



Also in Podcast

WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #19
WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #19

The One About Radical Healing through Diet - with Kylee Zeck
Read More
WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #18
WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #18

The One About Revolutionary Medicine - with Dr. Kevin Preston
Read More
WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #16
WILD REMEDIES PODCAST: EPISODE #16

The One About Up-levelling Your Immunity for Winter - with Krysta Francoeur
Read More